Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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