overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
