I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
