fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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