Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
false alarm, still single
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