Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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