I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
