Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
