Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
