Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
