I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
