Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
