But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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