nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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