I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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