I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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