That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
