Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
