he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the condom got lost in my hair
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
