she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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