Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
