he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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