Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
