I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
