maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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