you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
