The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
