My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
