You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
