He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
