Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
