Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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