dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
