The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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