**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
