so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
