She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
