Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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