i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
