I wanna bring you to show and tell
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
