Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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