so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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