I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
