Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
