would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
