He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
