There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm bleeding and have questions
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
