Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
