I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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