My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
