lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
